


Memories

by mychemicalcass



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Child Abuse, I just wanted to write some sad, M/M, this is so sad, why am i like this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-13
Updated: 2016-03-13
Packaged: 2018-05-26 10:06:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6234433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mychemicalcass/pseuds/mychemicalcass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ok so remember episode 15 when Haruhi slapped Hikaru that makes me so emo</p>
            </blockquote>





	Memories

Hikaru knew he was acting like a jerk. He knew he had no right to act so rudely to Haruhi's middle school friend. He hadn't done anything.

He realized he was out of line when he felt the sharp, and familiar, pain on his left cheek, coming from Haruhi.

Slap.

A simple slap was enough to send a shiver down Hikaru's spine, and he flinched. He dropped his head down so he was looking at the table.

A simple slap was enough to bring back horrible, tear jerking memories, and Hikaru struggled to hide his trembling.

He struggled to hide to quivering of his bottom lip, he struggled to keep back the tears brimming his eyes.

He couldn't believe such a simple slap could bring back so many unwanted memories, so many unwanted feelings.

"Weak." The one word thought that ran through Hikaru's thoughts, something he hadn't thought in so long. He thought those feelings, those thoughts, were gone.

He could feel the stares of the others burning into him. Haruhi yelling at him was all just a blur of words, but her tone only made the feeling in his gut worse. He had to get out of there.

-time skip aye-

He could hear Kaoru knocking on his door. He could hear him pleading to be let in. He could hear his concerned voice asking him what was wrong.

But here, alone, completely alone, Hikaru was safe to let the tears burning in the corners of his eyes slipping down his cheeks, as silent sobs racked his body.

The twin could feel the harsh slaps, kicks, hits, all of it as he sat there, all of the abuse he had gotten in the short moments that Kaoru wasn't around. All coming from someone he thought he could truly trust.

His father.

None of the abuse, nor physical or verbal, had ever been aimed at Kaoru, and for that, Hikaru was grateful. He didn't ever want the younger twin to be hurt.

He could now hear Kaoru slamming his fists against the door, begging for Hikaru to at least answer him. Soon enough, he heard accompanying footsteps. The rest of the host club. Kaoru's commotion had probably alerted them. 

Upon hearing Haruhi's voice calling, he tensed. He remembered the slap again.

He hated that something as small as a slap could strike such fear throughout his body. Why would he ever fear Haruhi? She wouldn't hurt anybody. 

"You're a coward," a voice hissed in the back of his head, causing Hikaru to wrap his arms tightly around himself. He brought his knees to his chest, pressing his face in the fabric of his pants, wetting it with his tears.

There were a few moments of silence, before a loud bang came from the door, followed by frantic footsteps approaching him. They had broken through the door. They weren't supposed to see him like this. Especially not Kaoru.

As his brother approached him, the rest of the hosts froze, seeing the shaking of Hikaru's shoulders, of his slender form. They could tell he was crying.

No one in the host club had ever seen either of each other in such a state. It shocked all of them.

Kaoru hesitantly approached his twin, worry and concern coursing through his body. What was wrong with his brother?

He sat down next to Hikaru, instantly wrapping his arms around him. "Hikaru, what is it?" he whispered, voice soothing and wavering slightly. He hated seeing his brother like this. It wasn't right.

Hikaru didn't respond. How was he supposed to? Kaoru rubbed his brothers back, whispering soothing words in his ear, acting as if the rest of the host club weren't in the room with them. 

"You can trust me." A louder sob passed Hikaru's lips this time, a sob that evidently sounded like he was gasping for air. When had it gotten so hard to breath? When had his vision gotten so hazy? Where did the pounding in his head come from?

A kick in the ribs for failing a test. A slap across the face for being rude to a close relative. A punch to the gut for talking back. Even a sharp whip to his back for the call his father had once received about the twins misbehaving, and that they were suspended for two days. Of course, to his father, it was only Hikaru's fault. Kaoru was the good one.

And, as time progressed, Hikaru believed it. Whatever his father aimed towards him, he deserved it. Whatever happened, he knew it linked back to his doing. He was the bad one. The rude one. Kaoru was the good one. The nice one. His father was right.

So he had stopped fighting back. He dealt with the pain, he stopped crying out from it. He stopped begging for his father to stop. He stopped wanting help.

It tore him apart inside. It screwed up his thoughts, and from time to time it would screw up his actions. 

His father was forced to stop when Hikaru and Kaoru started growing closer, so there was never a moment where the two were apart.

Except for the short period of time that Hikaru had insisted he changed by himself, locking himself in the bathroom as he did. He made sure neither Kaoru, nor his father, could get it when he did. He had to hide his wounds from Kaoru. He didn't want to worry him.

The older twin thought that finally, now he had gotten everything under control. Marks that once littered his body were mere faint scars, ones that could only be seen if you knew where to look for them, and if you looked closely, very closely.

But now, after having everything under control for months, all those years of abuse came back to him at once, preventing him from even thinking properly.

He didn't realize he was screaming until he snapped back into reality at Kaoru lightly shaking him, worriedly and frantically asking what was wrong, what had happened. 

How long had he been screaming for? He didn't know. All he knew was that his throat felt raw and sore from it. He silenced himself finally, taking heavy breaths in a desperate attempt to catch his breath. All he wanted was for everyone else to stop worrying. He didn't like bothering anybody else with his problems, his feelings.

Kaoru turned toward the rest of the host club, quietly asking them to leave. They nodded quickly, heading out, conversing in hushed voices about what had happened, and what was wrong with Hikaru.

Finally, alone, Kaoru moved so he was in front of his twin, legs on either side of him, and hands on his cheeks.

He forced Hikaru's hands away from his face, revealing red puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks. His left cheek was still red from the slap.

"Hikaru, please talk to me. What's wrong?" He sounded as if he were on the verge of tears. Hikaru hesitantly met his soft gaze, shying away under his stare.

When his twin still didn't reply, Kaoru sighed. "Is it because Haruhi slapped you?" At the words, Hikaru flinched, the words making him cower. 

The sight made the younger twin frown, concern only growing. But he knew his brother. There was more to it, not just the slap.

"What did it remind you of?" The follow up question made Hikaru tense. Of course his brother would ask him that. He knew him too well. He knew when he was hiding something.

"Why are you hiding it from me? Do you not trust me?" Kaoru's voice was laced with hurt.

No, this wasn't supposed to happen. Kaoru wasn't supposed to think he didn't trust him. He was the person he trusted most. 

"I trust you. But I.. I can't tell you," Hikaru finally said, voice low and shaking.

"You can tell me anything, Hikaru. You know that, don't you?" Kaoru said softly, moving closer to his twin.

"Did someone hurt you?"

Silence. Silence followed by a short nod from the trembling boy, his flow of tears once again continuing.

Kaoru clenched his fists, angry at the thought of anything hurting his brother. He was angry that he hadn't noticed.

"When?" he asked tentatively, trying to mask the anger in his voice.

"It ended a few months ago. Before Haruhi arrived." Haruhi's name came out as if it were forced, which it was. Every time he thought of the girl he remembered the slap, which only dug up memories so much worse than a slap.

"Who was it?"

This was the hard part. Hikaru hated lying to his brother, but either way, he knew the twin would see through any lie he told. Telling the truth would be so much harder than lying in this case.

He took a shaky breath, clenching his fists. He could do this. It was only Kaoru.

He opened his mouth to say "father," but stopped himself. He didn't consider that man his father at this point.

So instead, Hikaru muttered his and Kaoru's fathers name. There were a few long moments of tense silence.

"Father?" Kaoru questioned, voice now evidently shaking in anger, though it was barely above a whisper.

Hikaru flinched. "He's not my father," he said simply, once again shying away from Kaoru.

Though he didn't get far before his twin wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him close, not wanting to let go.

Kaoru pressed his face in the crook of Hikaru's neck, clutching his shirt. 

The older twin clung to his brother, breathing heavily and wanting nothing more than to be comforted by Kaoru.

He was safe with Kaoru. He knew that. He knew that his brother would make sure there wasn't a situation like this again. 

"It's okay, Hikaru. It won't happen again. I promise you."

He promised. Kaoru wouldn't break his promise, and Hikaru knew that. He could trust his brother, like he always could.

So why did he break his promise so soon?

**Author's Note:**

> I love me some sad :))
> 
> The last line oops

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Home, Otherwise Known as Hell](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8315884) by [qhostie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/qhostie/pseuds/qhostie)




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